Noah and the Unicorn

"Who's Noah?"

"He was in the Bible. God told him that there would be heavy rains for 40 days and 40 nights, and there would be a flood. So God told him to prepare for the flood by building a BIG boat called an "Ark". And into this ark Noah was to bring two of every animals, to save them from the flood."

"So he got all the animals into the ark?"

"Yes. He got two pigs, two chickens - a rooster and a hen, two cows - well actually one was a bull, two dogs, two cats, two goats..."

"What about elephants? Did he bring elephants?"

She was obsessed with elephants.

"Oh yes. He didn't forget about the elephants and the zebras and the giraffes, and lions and tigers and bears, oh my!"

"And unicorns?"

"Well, he couldn't find any unicorns. Because they were so rare! So unfortunately, there weren't any unicorns on the Ark. And so that's why there are no unicorns today."

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In the Beginning (The Word According to a Foodie Singaporean)

The Word according to a Singaporean (Foodie)

In the beginning, God was a little peckish, and he said, "Let there be an egg"; and there was an egg. 

It was small and packed with nutrients and he said, "needs salt"; and there was salt. 

And God saw that it was good. 

But it could be better. So he said, "Let there be another egg," and he added, "poached!"; and it was poached. 

And God thought, "this has possibilities", so he said, "let there be many eggs, poached, and boiled, hard and soft, and scrambled and omelette-ed, and souffle-ed and steamed and fried over easy, and over hard and sunny side up, and firm and runny"; and there were eggs that were poached, soft-boiled, hard-boiled, and scrambled, and omelette-ed and souffle-ed, and steamed, and fried over easy, over hard, and sunny-side up and firm and runny and salted and preserved (century eggs). 

And God ate it all and said, "this is the best thing since before sliced bread (which he was going to create the next day). And so ended the first day.

Matrix's Truths

2014

The Matrix, Matrix Reloaded, and Matrix Revolutions were a series of movies that was mind-boggling at first, and then just boggling. It had such a profound effect that the Wah-Chow-Si brothers who made the movies, later became the Wah-Chow-Si siblings (one of them used the money he made from the movies to have a sex-change). But what does it all mean?

It took me more than 12 years of thinking about it, re-watching the movies, reading other people's critiques and over-analyses of the three movies, and I think I got it. And to save you 12 years of cognitive overload, here are the short answers.

Yes. Answers. Plural. Because Truth is never singular. At its purest form, Truth is at best a duality, yin-yang, positive-negative, matter-anti-matter, good-evil, light-dark.

Names

This started out as an office joke.

"What shall we call our new meeting room?"

"Well, since we have discussions in the room to come to some decision, let's name the room, 'Decisive!'"

"Good name!"

So the meeting room was named. Some days later the assistant to the CEO answered an internal call, and told the caller, "I'm sorry, CEO is in a meeting right now, it may take a while. He's in 'Decisive'."

"The deputy CEO? She's in another meeting. She's in 'Competent'."

I think the meeting room in the Vatican, used by the Pope is called "Fallible".


So I was lying in bed when the phone rings.

"Hello? Oh nothing. I'm just in 'Deep Thought'."

"Okay. Bye."

"Deep Thought" is what I call my bed.


Customary wishes for wedding couples is for them to be "fruitful and multiply. But they probably don't want to call their bed "Fertile" or "Conceivable". The names may be auspicious sounding, but no.

The Song of Angry Singaporeans

To the tune of "Do you hear the people sing" a.k.a.  "Song of Angry Men" from Les Miserables.

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing the song of empty trains
It's the wistful song of people who are late for work again
Every train that's come and gone
Had been so packed they couldn't get on
So they've taken to this song to say that's wrong